The Pioneer Woman Show – Vera’s Recap of Make Ahead Marvels

Thank you Vera!  From the archives, Vera originally recapped this in Oct. 2013.  We added photos to update.

This week’s episode: Make Ahead Marvels. This title might lead you to believe that there would be some rhyme or reason to the recipes chosen, some kind of “stock the freezer, refrigerator or pantry” plan, or some logic to what would be considered a Make Ahead Marvel. I don’t know, something that might store well or be improved by reheating? Maybe they had some kind of plan like that, but apparently it got tossed out the window somewhere. This episode felt like a bunch of random recipes, maybe stuff that didn’t make the cut for another episode, that was edited together to make this show. Maybe during the rush to get new episodes cut together during the panic that ensued when Ree’s second Saturday timeslot was supposed to go to Trisha Yearwood or Amy Thielen or however that whole scheduling snafu went down? Anyway, it looks like they cobbled a bunch of random segments together and the result was Make Ahead Marvels.

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Make Ahead Marvels or How the Pioneer Woman’s Editors Spliced Her Outtakes

We begin in the kitchen at The Lodge, where Ree is cutting kernels off some ears of corn that have been grilled. She says she is making dip for Alex to take to her friend Megan’s house. Ree is wearing some kind of light blue patterned wrap top, which I find distracting, because it looks suspiciously like a really ugly bathrobe my mother had in the 70’s that my sister and I made fierce fun of.

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“The more hideous my shirtain, the better my crappy food looks.”

Anyway, Ree has a bunch of chopped onions, garlic, peppers, etc., that she tosses into a pan, then she starts talking about Alex’s friend. The plot thickens when she reveals that this Megan is actually Hyacinth’s daughter. OK, I was wondering how Alex would have a friend from outside the family/ranch circle and now I know. Back to the corn, Ree is rambling about how, if you don’t have ears of corn, you can use frozen corn, or if you have the ears and don’t want to grill it, you can just cut it off and use it raw. What? Wouldn’t that affect the finished product? She dumps mayo, sour cream, cream cheese, grated Monterrey jack cheese, canned chilies, some other crap into a pan. She points out that she’s using an 8×8 baking dish. But, of course, rather than use a plain old Pyrex dish that anyone might have sitting around the kitchen, she uses a Le Creuset ceramic dish that retails between $37 and $45. She really does take advantage of that deal she has with Le Creuset! The pan is covered with foil, then she says she has to pick up Alex. Pick her up where? Oh, I get it, Ree’s at The Lodge, so she has to drive a truck to her other house to get Alex. Such a bother, having all those houses!

She finds Alex sitting outside, then they drive to Hy’s. Along the way, there is mention that some boy whose name I didn’t catch would be there with his guitar. Cut to Hy’s house, there are actually two boys there with Megan, Ree leaves and Hy and the kids eat the corn dip. The two boys are total Eddie Haskell types. (“Yes, Mrs. Kane, No, Mrs. Kane, what a lovely blouse, Mrs. Kane” Gag.) Hy is wearing a low cut top and leans over the kids and I have to look away because her cleavage is almost in the one kid’s face. Then we cut to the four kids sitting on lounge chairs by a pool and one of the way-too-preppy boys is strumming a guitar, and they are all singing some church song that I forgot to write down. It may have been Amazing Grace, I don’t think it was Kumbaya, whatever, it just struck me as really, really odd. As we left for the commercial break, I was thinking how the whole scenario was like a long-ago episode of Dallas, where Lucy had some supposedly good kids over to SouthFork and they all ended up smoking pot or having an orgy or something. Whatever, we are out for commercial, thank goodness.

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“Amazing Grace? As soon as this camera crew’s gone, we’re smoking some really amazing stuff.”

Back to The Lodge, where Ree is frying a huge amount of ground beef in a dutch oven. She’s says she’s making meat sauce and started with five pounds of hamburger and sausage. Well, OK, that won’t be greasy at all. She takes the meat out of the pan and we get a closeup of all the grease in the bottom. She adds olive oil, onion and green pepper. Then she pours in some white wine! Whoa, wait a minute, just last week she had to substitute chicken broth in pizza sauce because of her family’s intense sensitivity to wine! What is going on? There is also whacky carnival music playing in the background, so the weirdness just continues. She adds several cans of tomato sauce and paste, pronouncing it toe-mah-TUHS more than once. Maybe she does think mispronouncing words is cute? I have no other explanation. Then she adds the secret ingredient – a jar of spaghetti sauce! This is also something she has done before. If this isn’t actual recycled footage, it is certainly a recycled recipe. The jar label is hidden but it looks suspiciously like Rao’s, which retails for almost $10 a jar. If I was going to use Rao’s I would just use it straight up. If it isn’t good enough to eat right out of the jar, I wouldn’t pay $10 for it.

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“Don’t you love how the Rao’s Spaghetti Sauce coordinates with my 2nd shirtain change?”

She adds some dusty looking powdered spices and a handful of sugar (Just a pinch! Not quite.) Then she dumps the meat back in and makes a comment about the pan maybe not being big enough to hold all the meat and sauce. Just barely and no room left to stir, so the bottom will burn while the rest is hardly cooked? Yuck. Now she shows us that she has used a huge spaghetti pot with draining insert to cook one portion of spaghetti. This is her snack? So she says. She manages to find some actual parmesan to grate onto it. What happened to her favorite green can parm? She takes the plate outside to eat in the ever-present windstorm and voiceovers a bunch of random clips from other shows. These are other recipes that use the meat sauce and it’s a favorite trick of the production team. Ina does it all the time and it’s annoying on her show, too. Either demo the recipe or don’t but quit with the voiceovers and re-edits. Ree teases a beef sandwich that’s in the next segment, and we cut to commercial.

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“I’ll show those jealous, haters! Now they have to review drip beef sandwiches two weeks in a row.”

Back to Ree driving a red pickup truck with her two sons in the back seat. She intros a flashback, then we see her make the beef that will be the sandwich filling. Apparently this is one of Hyacinth’s recipes that Ree has “improved” and she proceeds to dis Hy’s recipe. The original had dried Italian seasoning and Ree uses fresh rosemary instead because she just thinks it tastes so much better. OK, switching out a spice blend and replacing it with one spice, I’m not sure how that’s an improvement. She also dumps in an entire jar of pepperoncini and its juice. I cannot even imagine what that would taste like cooked and I don’t think I want to find out. She’s says she is going to stir the pan, she pokes at the meat a little bit, cut back to her talking while driving the truck, then cut to commercial.

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“My third shirtain. See how the glorious blueness complements this blue plate? I can feel you guys blowing kisses.”

Now she’s back in the kitchen, making sandwiches out of the reheated beef that she pulled from the refrigerator. She is wearing some kind of horizontal striped muu-muu thing that kind of looks like a bedspread. I just now realize she has had different clothes on in each segment, which adds to my suspicion that this is really a clip show, disguised as a new episode.

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“Soon we’ll celebrate Shirtain Madness. Click on my site for bracket forms.”

She shows how she took the layer of congealed fat off the top of the pan before she reheated it. We also get to see a closeup of how she took about half of the gelled beef broth and threw it away with the fat. What a waste. The meat gets reheated, she cuts the tops off of some hoagie rolls, she dips the beef onto the rolls and sticks the tops back on.

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“Shhhhh, cutting hoagie rolls like this is actually an idea I swiped from SubWay.”

No cheese, no condiments, no side dishes, not even a little bag of potato chips? All they get for lunch is a sandwich? The kids take the sandwiches off camera somewhere and Ree looks at the camera and sighs about how these sandwiches are “a lifesaver on days like this”. Days like what? When you have to drive two kids around on random errands between your multiple ranch houses and you feel obligated to stop and feed them a sandwich? What??? Anyway, we are out and another bizarre episode of Ree-on-the-ranch is in the can.

At some point in the first segment, Ree points out again how Ladd and Hyacinth’s families have been friends for 5 generations or something. This makes my mind wander: were Ladd and Hyacinth supposed to end up together? Did they have some kind of arranged relationship and Ree was the interloper? Do “society” families still push for “arranged marriages” where kids from various wealthy families end up married to each other? That would certainly keep the money closely guarded and not dilute the fortunes too much. And who were those two boys? Were they hired from central casting or were they actually scions of other wealthy families who Ree and Hy think would make appropriate sons-in-law? The whole first segment was just so weird. Even weirder than usual, and that’s really saying something.

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106 Responses to The Pioneer Woman Show – Vera’s Recap of Make Ahead Marvels

  1. Layla says:

    Stop me before I post a snarky comment!!!! From FB:

    “Good Morning! I have to ask you, where did you learn to be such a fantastic, creative, fun cook?”

    She reads church cookbooks!!!!!! That’s how!!!!!

  2. KM says:

    Just wanted to say, I’m loving this website. It’s addictive. I must have read a bazillion posts this morning!
    Discovered PW’s blog last year and have so far had two of her cookbooks bought for me, but everything I’ve made has tasted bad. Really bad. I made her skillet cornbread and it was like eating a sponge that had been boiled in salt water. And I’m a pretty decent cook. I mean, no-one has died yet. So I’m wondering if the photos on her blog lure you in but it’s a simple case of “looks better than it tastes”

    Recently received the holiday cookbook and I can’t take the overly wholesome, sickly cutesy captions under the photos. Maybe that’s why everything tastes likes salt, to balance out the sickly sweetness of her writing!

  3. Ginny says:

    Dear Marlboro Woman,
    I kept hearing about PW’s giveaways. I went to her site the other day when she was giving away three blue kitchen aid mixers and entered. I have a kitchen aid mixer and don’t need another one but decided to see if I would actually win. Lo and behold a little while later an advertisement for a blue kitchen aid mixer appeared on my computer. Makes me wonder what she is doing with the email addresses. I will never go back to her site because I don’t want the worry.

    • The Marlboro Woman says:

      One can never be sure what Ree’s up to, bottom line, she’s in business to make money. It’s likely she struck a deal with Kitchen Aid to promote their products and in exchange, they get contestants’ email addresses. You’d think she’d have the decency to publish a disclaimer to that effect.

      • Kitty says:

        I went over to her FB page and noticed she’s always got something going on to try to gin up some interest, contests for best movie, etc. I also noticed that Linda apparently has no other life outside of constantly replying to the reeple’s ass kissing and constant comments and inane questions. It makes me wonder what her deal is. I can’t believe she does all that without either being paid or getting some kind of compensation. Surely nobody’s that desperate for some kind of life!

      • nancy says:

        LOL Decency, Pioneer Woman, I think not! Greed, greed and more greed.

      • Ginny says:

        Thank you for your reply. I do like your web site and would be happy to donate but there is a problem. We are older and do everything to protect our identity and our money. We don’t allow anyone access to our credit cards except in stores and we don’t do Paypal. Is there any way to just send you a check?

    • Dawn says:

      Ginny,
      Your observation about the email address really caught my attention. Honestly, I had never given that any thought. I hope you don’t mind, but I would like to post the question to her on her FB page. It won’t be answered, seeing as how she has others manage her page, but I think it’s a very valid question that should be put out there. Maybe Linda will address the subject? *eye roll*

      • Ginny says:

        Please do. I was really freaked out. I know that when I search for a product on my ISP provider that I’m all of a sudden innundated with advertisements on that product. However I never expected to see an ad pop up because I went to her site to enter a contest.

    • Layla says:

      I don’t know a lot about computers, but I don’t believe it’s the email address, it’s the IP address for your computer and/or something to do with “cookies.” Every computer has its own IP (internet protocol?) address, and web sites lock onto them. I looked up some shoes on Zulilly, and now I get Zulilly ads here and there, as well as Nordstrom and a few others. All I did was look; I entered no information anywhere on their web site.

  4. jill says:

    from Cath (and way too good to be missed): “Among all the other impossible dreams our little ol’ big city girl turned prairie queen was once a vegetarian herself! It only took one bite of Marshmallow Man’s meat to convert her! ”

    Do ya ‘spose they’ll sell Marshmallow Man Meat in the deli? or is that a special sausage treat?

  5. The Marlboro Woman says:

    From PW’s Facebook page-this hasn’t been altered. Too sad for words:

    “Hi!Ree my name is Theresa I watch you show when ever its on I love all your recipes the reason I im writing to you is to ask you if you have a very good recipe for chili to but on hot dogs but it can’t be spicy for I can’t have spicy stuff I would greaty appreciate”

  6. chakajo75 says:

    I understand that she emphasize the kids and sometimes hubs, and friends. It looks to me that there is not a lot of chemistry between as you call him, AssChaps and her. Why not dedicate a show for date night. Food she would cook for her husband. I haven’t see that yet.

    • Sherry says:

      She did that in one of the first seasons and I think I’ve seen it done another time. The first time she fixed his “favorite” sandwich and did her own version for herself. I don’t remember the second one that well, I stopped paying attention at some point. In the beginning I kept thinking it had to get better but it has gotten far, far worse.

  7. chakajo75 says:

    From the past shows I have seen, it looks like her kids and home are sanitized, meaning no television, it hard for me to believe that they don’t have an iphone, Xbox, ipad, cable or anything. It hard for me to believe that the kids like to rough house outdoors all the time.

    • Layla says:

      She’s mentioned watching movies and TV shows on her blog. I agree, though—those kids have to have all that stuff. The Drummond wealth pretty much guarantees it. (We know they have iPhones from the pictures PW posted that Paige took.)

    • Kitty says:

      Also, most of everything is shot in “The Lodge” or out on the ranch abusing the poor cattle or horses. Most of their crap is probably in their real house.

    • cath says:

      The outward appearance may be that the lucky reeple get to see an inside look into the prairie queen’s life. What is not fully disclosed though is that the Lodge is a purpose built film studio and the show is tightly, yet poorly scripted, all to give the illusion of wholesome homeschooled kids working alongside papa on his ranch. In a nutshell what you see is plain old bulldust! Those kids probably have every gadget known to man, because the Ree of Yore was not immune to large format printers, high end cameras, iphone gizmos and whatever you can think would float her boat.

      • The Marlboro Woman says:

        Wasn’t there a time when poor, self-deprecating Ree bemoaned the fact one of the kids dropped the iPad, shattering the screen? She bought him a new one immediately.

        • Kitty says:

          Has plenty of money to burn!

        • cath says:

          Yep…I do believe you are right! Didn’t we all think she had a sponsorship with apple at some stage?

        • anon. says:

          I remember that. I remember all of the posts about the wii, too.

          I’m sure they’ve got every gadget known to man – at their “real” house.

        • Sherry says:

          Yeah, I remember that. I thought it was hers though. I think her phone suffered the same fate.

          • The Marlboro Woman says:

            She lost the phone while riding a horse. Of course, she never bothered to install Find My iPhone or maybe she did, but didn’t activate it.

  8. imbubbasmom says:

    I think this was a clip show. I remember those 2 boys on another episode, which, unfortunately, I managed to catch. Didn’t Her Reeness sing something with them, too? All four kids seemed sooooo uncomfortable, and to me it felt stiffly scripted. I felt sorry for them, and most especially Alex. She really looked embarrassed. Well, come to think of it, so did all the rest of the kids.

    • The Marlboro Woman says:

      My kids would disown me if I subjected them to anything like that.

      • Southside Girl says:

        So would every other teenager in the world. My son might have friends over but I’m just expected to make the food and shovel it onto the table, then disappear. That’s just teenager behavior. I would be very, very worried if my kids asked me to join their sing-along. In fact, I’d be very, very worried if they HAD a sing-along!

        • The Marlboro Woman says:

          Sing-along? I have to laugh, mine are too busy with X-Box, texting and listening to music on their iPhones.

    • nancy says:

      What 16 year old in 2014 would do that? The only one that comes to mind is the creepy Dugger kids and their creepier parents, I could see them doing a song fest!!

      • Kitty says:

        I’m glad I’m not the only ones who thinks they’re all creepy. They remind me of the Stepford Wives, just so perfect in every way. And the way they dress, almost like the weird sect of Mormons with all the wives wearing their little prairie dresses. Unfortunately, every time I say how creepy they are, my daughter defends them!

  9. Kitty says:

    I just watched the repeat of the Sleepover Six with the two cousins. Of course, just about everything she made was crap loaded with butter, mayo, sugar and chocolate. Everything this homely heifer and her little angels do looks so totally fake. Cowboy Josh ran into the kids and made them go with him to fix a fence and clear some trees and brush. Btw, every time we see him driving around, his poor horse is in the back of the trailer. I just wonder if he ever gets out or has a break?! That night the kids decide to prank Josh for making them work(As idiot PW puts it, “That’s how we show love on the ranch, by pranking”). They toilet paper the work truck and write all over it. This show is the biggest bunch of BS I’ve ever seen in my life! How long is FN going to inflict this excruciating hot mess on the public?!

    • jill says:

      they toilet papered the work truck? seriously?

      so glad I’ve never seen the show. what a waste of electricity to run the tv.

      • Kitty says:

        Yes! It looked like Cowboy Josh lives in that group of buildings down the hill from the million dollar lodge and they all just walked down there after dark, including P Dumbass. It was really stupid, as all her shows are, and a total waste of time…lol

  10. Romen says:

    As much of our snark fodder is derived from her show, I find lovely little snarkles on her site. In today’s comments (snortellini recipe):

    “Ree, I’ve noticed on your TV shows that occasionally you cut raw meat on a wooden chopping surface. I’ve been wondering how you clean/sanitize it before chopping vegetables. This might be an idea for a post. I for one would love to know more since I inherited one I’d like to use.”

    Now, we all know there will be no response. Wonder if Linda bounces between boards and will tell this poor thing NOT to cut meat on wood boards?

  11. Charlie says:

    Yesterday she was replying and liking a lot of posts on her facebook page. Coincidence?

  12. nancy says:

    My lord, I was revolted at the amount of fat she skimmed off of the drippy beef crap she had the nerve to serve her boys. And who the hell gives a kid just a freaking sandwich, my son would have been standing there demanding chips, fries, salad, veggie sticks, something, not just a greasy ass sandwich. How Food Network justifies this crap ass show is beyond me, she is worse than anything Paula Deen every thought of slopping together at least Paula gave credit to her Aunt, Mother or Grandmother for her unhealthy as hell recipes. Everything PW cooks is from 1970′s church cookbooks, nothing new or original, she does not even try to put her own spin on this crud because the heifer can’t cook. Longing for the day where this idiot is on Chopped … LMFAO not even her sheeples could save her on Chopped LOL LOL LOL

  13. The Marlboro Woman says:

    Are the reeple always drunk when they post or just uneducated? From the PW Facebook page:

    “Love your program, great looking food. Gotten several of your receipts .”

    “Hope all is well on the range. As my husband and I was driving back from Ponca City we saw a huge grass fire in your area.”

    “Your post are coming up good on my website Nancy Risk”

    • Layla says:

      Other than the fawning, “receipts” is an archaic word used for recipes. I’ve seen it used in books set in the 1800s.

      I’ve seen posts by people wondering if everything is OK after the earthquakes. I don’t think a 4.-something will bring down a house. Rattle it some, but no one needs to run to a doorway.

      • Sherry says:

        Was there an earthquake in Oklahoma? I know there was one in California. I’ve been in a 4.1 out there and it would do damage back here in the Midwest. Out there, not much given their building codes. But every native Californian in the room dove under the nearest desk/table when the 4.1 happened.

        • The Marlboro Woman says:

          I’m not sure, but someone on her FB page thinks there was.

        • Layla says:

          Around 10-12 this past weekend, mostly centered around the mid-state-eastward a bit area. Maybe we don’t have the damage because so much of Oklahoma is unpopulated. There was damage at OSU last year, which I think was a high 4.-something, after a series of quakes, the highest being 5.-something. That’s the one I felt, which marked something off the Life To-Do List.

          I’ve lived here 32 years, and there’s been more earthquakes in the past 3 or 4 years than all the previous years. Which was almost none. I think Mother Nature is po’d about something.

          • Layla says:

            PS: A lot of those last weekend were 2.-somethings. Three and a half weeks ago, I felt one only because both feet were on the floor, and they were shaking.

        • jill says:

          I have an odd fascination with earthquakes and look at http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/map/ everyday, several times a day if there are lots of them. Yes there has been a swarm of quakes in upper/central Oklahoma going on for a while now, with a quake >4 in Crescent a couple of days ago. This area has been seismically active for a LONG time, before fracking was a thing so don’t even go there.

          yes, there was a bigger shaker in Oklahoma recently

          • Layla says:

            I’ve been surprised at how sensitive some people are to them. I’ll see FB posts of “Did you feel that?” and “Felt it here in midtown,” and I didn’t feel anything. A friend of mine has yet to feel any of them, including the bigger one that I felt. I heard it coming, although I didn’t know that until it started shaking.

            • jill says:

              Crescent has actually had 3 this week, 4.3, 4.3, and a 4.1 along with quite a few smaller quakes. Enid had a big one recently too, Langston, Chandler, and Choctaw are all kind of wiggly. Arkansas usually has a few small quakes but it’s been quiet for a while. This is scary – Yellowstone is getting very rumbly.

              • Kitty says:

                They’ve said if Yellowstone erupts, all of the US will be taken out, and maybe all of North America .

            • Polly N. Saturated says:

              Whether and how much one feels an earthquake depends on the kind of soil you are situated on. Small jigglers are capable of turning certain types of soils to jello (liquefaction), while on other types, substantial ones only slosh the pool in your yard.

              The Loma Prieta Quake (’89) was a good example. The land in North Beach (near SFO) “jello-ed” and lots of houses pancaked, as did the freeway in the East Bay. Similar soils. All we felt was a sliding back-and forth “pool slosh”. We are on a large (underground) shelf of sandstone, which is fairly stable.

              You, in OK, are likely to be affected by movement on the New Madrid fault line, and your soils are more “jello-ey”. It has more potential to go “cataclysmic” that the San Andreas, and it is due for a shaker, but then so are we.

              Posted from the Desktop

              • Layla says:

                Several years ago, when there was a lot of talk about New Madrid, there was mention of how it would affect Tulsa if it hit again, and it wasn’t pretty.

    • Kitty says:

      LOL…they definitely sound crazy.

  14. Romy Michelle says:

    You know I hate to say this but I am kind of sad there was not a new show on Saturday. I look forward to Monday mornings to see the recap of the praire queens show. But Amy’s show was great.

    • Layla says:

      I went to FN to check the curried carrots recipes and discovered there are only 2 more new Heartland Table shows left, for a total of 6. I’d like to know how the decision was made to make only 6 shows, if it was FN, the production company, or Amy. It’s very disappointing. I’m hoping there will be all sorts of new shows when her garden comes in.

      • The Marlboro Woman says:

        That’s how FN started out with PW, ordering 6 shows at a time. After a few seasons they had enough stock footage to throw together extra shows so the seasons would have more episodes. She’s only been on for 2 1/2 years, but the show’s in season 7. What a joke.

        • Elizabeth says:

          For a long time, I thought a season of a show was the same as a year of shows. But once I started buying Season Whatever of shows via computer, I realized most shows have two seasons a year. So PW’s 2 1/2 years would equal 7 seasons–which is about 6 5/6 seasons too many. (Cause we had to see it once . . . . didn’t we?!?)

          • The Marlboro Woman says:

            Food Network has the shortest “seasons” in television.

            • Elizabeth says:

              Yes, they do. Can you imagine a regular full-length season of PW? She’d be making a beef sandwich, mac and cheese with an odd additive, and some travesty for dessert for half the shows!

  15. Layla says:

    What was so “make ahead” about the corn dip? That she made it before it was taken to Hy’s? Even the spliced-together segments don’t make sense.

    • MN says:

      Good grief! Ree’s knife skills cutting the corn off the cob made me laugh! Growing up in the Midwest we froze hundreds of pints of corn every year in August. My father always used Mother’s best paring knife, sharpened it and held the cob in his hand and gently pulled the knife to get the kernals off the cob. Watching Ree use a huge knife and cut downward looked like a mess! Just another example of her poor kitchen ability.

      • Kathryn says:

        Here is what I use: http://leemfgco.com/Item/Corn-Cutter-Wooden

        I inherited it when my maternal grandmother died in 1974. My maternal grandfather bought it for her in 1939 or 1940 (my mother isn’t sure), and it has been used every summer since! My mother’s is now being used by my elder daughter. They are great!

  16. Your Crazy says:

    You are a total loser!!!!!

    Email: youhavetoomuchtimeonyourhands@loser.com
    IP Address: 207.161.122.108
    Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba
    Search Referral: http://www.google.cado people like ree drummond

    • The Marlboro Woman says:

      Why thank you “Your Crazy.” What other results did your search “do people like Ree Drummond” turn up? Maybe grammar.com?

      • June g. says:

        Lol! I know this was meant to put us in our place…..but hahahaha! What a moron.

      • mary says:

        Ha Ha!! Where were all these people when their English classes were taking place?

      • jill says:

        well now, in days of yore your teacher taught how to use contractions such as you’re in third grade.

        In other news, does Le Crueset make a straight up purple pan? because I need one to match my favorite purple flowy top to when cooking my newest recipe – beef jerky sammies aw juiced.

        • jill says:

          just got back from Osco, bought the purple eyeliner. Now if a purple pan could be found this recipe can be prepared and served!

          • Elizabeth says:

            If I remember correctly, Sandra Lee used to do her show all matchy-matchy–every single piece of kitchenware was the same color, even the towels and oven mitts, and maybe even her clothes. Maybe it has something to do with trying to distract the viewer from poorly prepared food?

      • Heather says:

        Sounds like someone is in dire need of my brief yet succinct internet grammar tutorial. Who am I kidding? Those words were far too large for that person.

      • Kathryn says:

        My crazy what, please? Hair? I know. It is so curly that early in the morning I have a tendency to frighten small children before I get it tamed. Life? Yep. It is a bit crazy at times, but we thrive on crazy.

        Oh, and congratulations on not misspelling the word “loser”. It is quite difficult to keep a grown-up face on when reading something like “…a total looser.” Of course, the excessive use of exclamation marks means points off, but I somehow think you don’t mind. Now, fill up that whole contraction abyss, or you may need to stand by the wall during recess, and that is a total bore.

    • Kitty says:

      Not “Your Crazy”, You’re A Total Dumbass!

    • Ann says:

      Oh, god. Why did the crazy person have to be Canadian? Why? I feel like I must search out this traitor and make them leave.

  17. DKelly says:

    Yikes….she is Ree X’s two! * Snark!* I also think that she is actually a few years older than she would like us think she is. On her book covers she looks slim, healthy and young, but on these shows she looks heavy, pasty-skinned and unhealthy. We all age, but it looks as if she isn’t doing that so gracefully. Martha at least had aging well and aging gracefully in the bag….(AND she is my only true Domestic Goddess).

    DK

    • The Marlboro Woman says:

      Her book covers were PhotoShopped to delete all imperfections. With tv, there’s only so much editing can do.

      • DKelly says:

        Gotta love that photoshop! ;) I’m not a foodie fan ( vegetarian here, NO rancher would even think twice about marrying me!!), but as an intermediate photographer I stumbled on her mega blog a few years ago regarding photography tips. Her “seemingly” perfect lifestyle, “hunky” hubby, and “perfect” life really depressed me. I stopped writing on my measly little blog and gave up photography perfection because her bar seemed too high for us mere mortals to achieve! Thanks to you, I know it’s all a big ginormous fake! I like my small Boston apartment, eating Amy’s pies for dinner, and just using my camera for mere pleasure! Thank you all for the reality check! :)

        • The Marlboro Woman says:

          Thanks for reading. Now I’m hungry for Amy’s pies.

        • cath says:

          Awww DKelly…don’t give up on that wrangled rancher yet. Among all the other impossible dreams our little ol’ big city girl turned prairie queen was once a vegetarian herself! It only took one bite of Marshmallow Man’s meat to convert her! The sanitised version of that story is somewhere to be found in her archives

          • DKelly says:

            Lol Cath….no ranching life for me! I’m going to stay in the city and herd cats! Ree’s life doesn’t intrigue me….I just thought it was interesting to read about someone who left the” big city” to live on one. I was interested to see the cultural differences and her adaptation of life on a sprawling ranch! I thought it would be a lot of work and very difficult. Then I learn it’s a lie because she’s originally from that area and not LA! I didn’t know she had a gazzilion bucks at her disposal, either! My bad! Looking back, she made ranching look glamorous and beautiful. Maybe it is in some ways, but as a vegetarian city girl ( I don’t judge others for partaking in the flesh) just knowing all those ” cute” cows she is so fond of photographing will all be going to feed lots
            and to eventually a supermarket near me would always be a bit disturbing for me to live with. No Green Acres or Marlboro Men for me….I’ll take Jon Hamm and Park Avenue! :D

            • Layla says:

              You mentioning being a vegetarian reminded me: there was a FB post from someone wanting vegetarian recipes from PW. Really. Vegetarian recipes from people who grow cattle for food. I didn’t know if it was stupid first or funny first.

              • DKelly says:

                LOL I’m sure Chap-Ass wouldn’t approve! Imagine….grilled tofu with veggies and basmati rice……He’d divorce her for sure! LMAO!

              • Margie says:

                Just so you know, and I hate to be this picky, but you grow produce, you raise cattle, hogs, chickens…sorry as an actual small family farmer that always bothers me.
                Growing is the act of sticking something in the ground and having it grow or bear fruit, which you can’t do with animals!

                • Layla says:

                  Now that you say that, I recall that “raise” has always been used regarding animals in my readings and conversations. I think I trapped myself in the current usage of “grow” (as in, “grow our club membership” instead of “increase.”)

            • LAnn says:

              Jon Hamm …..sigh❤️

            • cath says:

              :) DKelly…it’s ok…I knew you weren’t hustling for your own ChappedAss to call your own! Not everyone in this world reads about a lifestyle and instantly assumes that everything in it is bigger, better, and brighter than anything else. The Prairie Queen would need to have a conscience to think beyond the cute calf and then follow that through to feedlots. But then all her food choices – cheap store meat, off the shelf butter, tinned and jarred foods – don’t inspire hope in her sincerity about farming, farmers and provenance. Quick farming bucks, quick shitey recipe bucks, quick drivelly schoolgirl story bucks, all sugar coated to delude the masses.

              BTW did anyone see that dry old pasta recipe she posted on facebook? Wow…it looked like a clown threw up on that plate!

              • Kitty says:

                So true!

              • Layla says:

                It’s amazing how many people post on FB about how well-behaved her children are. Like they’re going to spit on each other in front of a camera.

              • DKelly says:

                Ack no….I don’t visit her site or FB page at all…I DID look today being prompted to look at clown pasta..but didn’t find it ( thank goodness) BUT…..did you see the entry for March 28?

                Peetsa! Peetsa? Really? Liked by over 6,000 reeples, and a comment by 179 sheeples…The photograph isn’t her usual “high” quality shot, but a poor image that usually makes food look like vomit. Actually, one of the comments was…

                “looks like the dogs breakfast, and this person has a slot in a cooking show? I feel sad for America”

                LOL ok who was visiting her FB page and wrote that??!! :D

          • Elizabeth says:

            Oh my goodness, cath, I thought this was a PG-rated site! (ha) I choked on my drink at your “one bite of Marshmallow Man’s meat.”

            Climbing out of gutter now.

            • jill says:

              oh lawsy…… it’s a bit moist here in this gutter…. ya wanna go with me to dry off and pour another stiff one?

            • cath says:

              my job is done Elizabeth! By the time AssChaps meat makes it through the feedlots it mire than likely will make you choke! Her whole fake past though includes almost every demographic you could want. The scent of a few dollars turned her from a vego to a meat eater instantly. What won’t she do formoney?