Just when you thought Food Network hit rock bottom and couldn’t get any worse, it imploded again on Saturday. Season three of the Pioneer Woman, featuring our favorite little ol’ plagiarist, rolled out a new episode with a retro menu straight from a time capsule. Two of the recipes Drummond prepared, chicken spaghetti and orange muffins, were lifted directly from Bartlesville Service League cookbooks. The remaining dishes included a salad and for dessert, popsicles fashioned out of melted ice cream that had been refrozen with candy pieces. Those recipes too are widely available on any number of websites.
Food Network’s promos for the show had Drummond breaking into her stand-up routine with “if this casserole is wrong, then I don’t want to be right” followed by Ree’s signature grin that would have made even Chucky proud. Just last week, The Pioneer Woman tweeted something along the lines, if failing at joke telling was an Olympic sport, she’d be a gold medal winner. Finally…something we can all agree on. Now if she could just shake her penchant for plagiarism.
In other news, for anyone curious about the Pioneer Woman’s July trip to NYC, the one Hyacinth accompanied her on when Ree flooded the Internet with her ubiquitous hotel photos
raise your hand if you don’t have a clue what a hotel room looks like, we now know why the cagey Ree was there. She shot this filler piece and this one for Land O’ Lakes to distribute to network affiliates across the country. With phoniness reeking from her Pioneer Woman pores, bottom-line-Ree didn’t skip a beat. She managed shout outs for Land O’Lakes along with close-ups of her cookbook, all part of a well-stocked kitchen, at least that’s what she’d have viewers believe. Be forewarned, Ree wrote the script for this:
For someone with absolutely no financial concerns, you’d think the Pioneer Woman could spring for a make-up and wardrobe consultant or perhaps a voice coach. I mean come on, what was up with that green toga thing she had on? Wasn’t St. Patrick’s Day like four months ago? Also, does Ree have some type of speech impediment that renders her incapable of enunciating the word “them” instead of saying ’em all the time? How hard can it be to pronounce correctly a one-syllable word? And for God sakes Pioneer Woman, if you can’t hold your hands still while shooting a take, sit on ‘em with your Land O’ Lakes butter ass. I don’t know what’s worse, those incessant hand movements or her inept wise cracks.
And before we go, we’d be remiss if we failed to mention the Tulsa World and their hype for the local girl gone fake. Good God, it must have been a slow news day for these people.