The Pioneer Woman – A Football Primer

We noticed the fake little ol’ ranch wife is posting about fall—although it’s 106 in the shade–so we thought it an appropriate time to present Ree with a short football tutorial.  Earlier this year and again this afternoon, Food Network aired a Pioneer Woman episode called The B-Man, a show Ree dedicated to her older son, Bryceeeee.  The Antichef made all his favorite foods, they thumb danced and in a half hour, viewers witnessed one of the most beloved mother-son relationships in the history of mankind.

Yet for all the cherishing, all the smiles and laughter, we weren’t quite convinced, in fact, we weren’t feeling the love at all. For us at least, it was more like listening to someone reading a script and as it turns out, that’s exactly what it was.  In a performance for the ages, Ree launched into a soliloquy, an ode of sorts to Bryceee, his warm personality, his generous spirit and his love of football.  The breathless, squeaky-voiced Pioneer Woman described how Bryceeee played defensive back for the local Pawhuska football team, a team coached by her husband Ladd.

We decided to take a closer look at the scenes of Bryceee playing football, you know the ones we always look forward to in cooking shows.  After multiple replays, we never saw Bryceeee playing defensive back, not once.  Nope, he was actually playing offense, taking the snap and handing it off to a running back.  Not only that, he was wearing a football jersey with the number 17. Hmmm, that makes Bryceee the quarterback, not a defensive back.  It also presents a teensy, weensy conundrum for the doting mom ruse and all but blows a hole in Ree’s wild claims of mother-son bonding.

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Earth to Ree: Your husband’s the coach, that makes your son the quarterback not a defensive back you moron.

You see, here’s the thing:   in football, defensive backs don’t take the snap and they sure as hell don’t wear number 17 jerseys.   Typically, uniform numbers between 1 and 19 are reserved for quarterbacks, punters and place kickers.  Defensive backs, on the other hand, usually wear numbers between 20 and 49.  Furthermore, when Daddy’s the team coach, his son ain’t playing defensive back.

Ree’s tribute to her son as it turns out, was another contrivance, a theme for her cheesy show, one designed to play on the heartstrings of the masses, people who won’t know the difference.  Shame on the fake Pioneer Woman on many levels, but not knowing what position her son plays on the football team, that’s unforgivable.

nancyg says: August 21, 2014 at 8:50 pm

Oh hell MW, come on, the servants probably have to remind the Moose who her children are, how old they are and what they look like!

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The Pioneer Woman Show – Hitting the Road Recap

Saturday’s Hitting the Road episode was ripped from the Pioneer Woman’s blog a few months back when Ree and her daughters traveled to Texas A&M University. It’s the usual, over-the-top fare about a college tour trip, something the average American family does without More…


The Pioneer Woman Show – Kitchen Confessional Comfort Foods

Today on the ranch, Ree is treating us to an episode called Kitchen Confessional: Comfort Food. She is going to make her favorite comfort food recipes, including chicken and dumplings, quesadillas, pasta with tomato sauce, and cinnamon toast. OK, is More…


The Pioneer Woman’s Opening Night Gala

With completion of Phase One of the Pioneer Woman’s mysterious flip-that-building project, her publicity machine is moving into high gear.  This week alone, two Oklahoma papers covered the opening night gala held in Pawhuska’s former Mercantile.  Unlike most philanthropists who shy away from media attention, Ree Drummond can’t get enough of it.

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The Antichef’s flip that building project, a bunker of sorts, where Ree can map out her strategy for culinary-world domination.

According to the Bartlesville Examiner  and the Times Record Online, on July 31 an exclusive, invitation-only party was held to celebrate the Drummonds taking physical possession of the building.  Because Ladd and Ree’s names are on the deed, the coverage focused on them, not any of the other family members who will also office there.  Nice way to share Ree.

As we speculated over a year ago, Ree’s flip-that-building will house yet another commercial kitchen.  Sorry, we’re not buying that it’s exclusively for a Deli, particularly when Ree is the one spinning the story.  The commercial kitchen will serve a two-fold purpose:  one ostensibly as food prep for Deli traffic and two, as a secondary shooting location for the Antichef’s red-neck cooking show.

We have never understood why Ree Drummond cloaks her expanse in secrecy and innuendo. Why not share with the reeple throngs that you’re an opportunist and be done with the half-truths?

A huge shout out to the dear reader who sent us a hard-copy of the Bartlesville Examiner article.  You know who you are and thanks!

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The Pioneer Woman Show – Vera Recaps Pet Parade

Today Ree is bringing picnic items to a pet parade in Tulsa. What? Well, this event is sponsored by the home school co-op and was organized by Hyacinth. And none of Ree or Hy’s children appear to be involved. So More…


The Pioneer Woman Show – Recap of Man Cave

Today’s show is built on the premise that four teenage boys are transforming an empty salt house on the Drummond homestead into a man cave.  Never mind that presumably it’s the middle of summer and the salt house doesn’t have any power or running More…


The Pioneer Woman Choos Choos to Chattanooga

With over 150 vendors expected to participate, Chattanooga is rolling out the red carpet for this weekend’s SHE Expo, billed as a two-day dog and pony show for southern women.  Headliners include HGTV’s Property Brothers, Drew and Jonathan Scott, and More…


The Pioneer Woman Show – Recap of Engagement Party

Please note:  The couple who are the focus of today’s show and their friends seem to be some of the nicest people in the world.  In no way is this recap meant to be critical of them or their guests. Today the Antichef asks us to suspend More…


The Pioneer Woman Show – Vera Recaps Takeout At Home

Today’s adventure on the ranch: Takeout At Home. Ree bemoans the fact that she lives so very far from a Chinese carry-out restaurant and decides to surprise her daughters with the same food they order every week from a drive-thru More…


The Pioneer Woman Show – Recap of 16 Minute Meals All Day Long

Less than 3 years ago the bottom-feeding Pioneer Woman show premiered, yet Food Network billed today’s mega-staged production as the start of Season 8. Masterful marketing by skilled publicists. Sixteen Minute Meals All Day Long begins with older daughter Alex surfing the Internet More…