The Pioneer Woman – Heavens to Etsy

Anyone familiar with the Pioneer Woman recognizes that her style of damage control relies heavily on the theory of see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil. Years ago when guest blogger Mrs. G wrote a controversial home-school post raising the ire of the fundamentalist community, Ree threw her under the proverbial bus and deleted the offending entry. The Pioneer Woman never explained, apologized or remotely alerted her loyal readers what had happened. One minute Mrs. G was there, the next she wasn’t.  More importantly, the keepin’ it real little ol’ ranch wife had saved the day preserving her brand’s “idyllic, pastoral” contrivance.

Last week, in a similar incident, the Pioneer Woman again came under attack for posting plagiarized content on her blog. Emelie Sanders, the fifteen year-old daughter of Heather Sanders, Ree’s web designer and frequent home-school contributor, posted this  Valentine tutorial on how to blatantly copy an Etsy artist’s work. Not until she was caught red-handed did the teenager or perhaps her Mother, edit the post adding links crediting the Etsy artist. By then, it was waaaaay too late.

For hours, the Pioneer Woman’s tedious blog was inundated with negative comments calling out the post as nothing more than thievery and expressing disappointment in Ree Drummond’s moderation.  In an ironic twist, the crisis arose during the funeral for Thatcher Drummond’s father which the Pioneer Woman attended. With priorities firmly in place, the mourning Ree Drummond didn’t skip a beat.

Like any good Pioneer Woman, Ree tackled the situation with grace and integrity, deleting all negative comments in real-time from the comfort of her church pew.  All the while, she remained in constant contact with her publicists, the Sanders family and presumably a gaggle of attorneys. The question begs, why was the Pioneer Woman humping her iPhone during the eulogy for her husband’s uncle?

As the funeral service wrapped, the Pioneer Woman predictably went beyond the pale and chose the path of least resistance. Taking swift, decisive action, the grief-stricken Ree deleted Emelie Sanders’ pilfered post saving the day for her website and maintaining the censored, conflict-free pioneer woman illusion.  In Ree’s simple-minded world, all the ugliness had never happened.

This time however Ree’s hair-brained decision caught her blind sided. Thinking she’d outsmarted everyone and covered her tracks, the Pioneer Woman forgot the adage, what’s posted on the internet, stays on the internet. Within moments, saavy internet surfers located the cached link for the post Ree thought she had deleted.  When the link went viral,  the Pioneer Woman’s tail-between-the-legs maneuver was exposed.  In a matter of hours, Ree managed to not only piss-off the Etsy community, but she completely destroyed what little veracity she had with her own followers.

To date, the Pioneer Woman has never acknowledged the incident much less offered a public retraction. As the webmaster of the Pioneer Woman site, the buck stops with Ree on content.  Why she allowed a fifteen year-old unfettered access to her site will never be known.  If Twitter is to be believed, Ree privately paid off apologized to the Etsy artist but the injured party  isn’t divulging the terms of the settlement. As it turns out,  the person most central to this entire scandal, the Etsy artist,  is pretty much an ass himself.  Soon after the little ol’ ranch wife smoothed the artist’s ruffled feathers, he took to Twitter and defended Ree claiming the poor Pioneer Woman had been dealing with a family funeral.  Proving once again, Ree’s theatrics and lack of respect for a deceased family member had trumped any common decency to do the right thing.

Recommended Reading:  Pie Near Woman’s Plagiarizing Etsy

 

 

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The Pioneer Woman Invades New York City

New York City, as if it doesn’t already have enough problems, has a huge one now. Ree Drummond has landed and is at-large in their fair city. The media whore and Oklahoma hick behind the Pioneer Woman hoax appears tonight on a panel sponsored by the 92nd Street Y.  She’ll discuss How To Find Success On The Web  while falsely maintaining you’re a little ol’ ranch wife. For those willing to shell out a minimum of $29 bucks, you too can learn how to lift recipes from church and community cookbooks, photoshop hundreds of step-by-step photos and post them on a blog without ever crediting any of your sources.

Anyone planning to attend tonight’s event would be well-advised not to believe all the hype bullshit emanating from Ree and her handlers. During the scheduled Q & A, we’d love to hear her response to questions about thisthis and this. If you have questions you’d like to see answered, please leave them in the comments section or tweet them directly to @92Y.

 

 

 

 

 

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The Pioneer Woman – My Cousin Thatcher

Take a gander at this. Remember Thatcher Drummond, first cousin of Ladd and Ree Drummond? Seems The Pioneer Woman’s cousin by marriage has been a very naughty boy…again. According to the Facebook page of Barnsdall, Oklahoma’s The Bigheart Times, Thatchy apparently got into a scuffle last Thursday with a state trooper after being stopped for a minor traffic infraction. After resisting arrest and assaulting the officer, the cowardly Thatcher fled the scene on foot and escaped in a cow pasture with handcuffs still dangling.  What a loser.

Although Ree has blogged about him in the past,  don’t look for updates about this latest scrape in her Confessions section.  Ree falsely thinks she can simply censor any and all negativity from her “idyllic, pastoral” fairy tale and poof, it disappears.

The Pioneer Woman Joint Smokin' Cousin T

According to family attorney Gentner Drummond (yet another cousin) Thatcher, Cousin T as he’s fondly known in Osage County, turned himself in after sleeping off undoubtedly what was an alcohol and drug-induced bender. The incident must have made for interesting conversation at the Pioneer Woman’s Super Bowl party, “Mommy, why was Cousin T asleep in the pasture?”

With Thatcher’s alleged penchant for an occasional puff from his private Cannabis reserve, we now fully appreciate why the Pioneer Woman cooks up such large quantities of carbohydrate-rich meals should Cousin T drop by with a bad case of the munchies.  The timing of Thatcher’s donnybrook is impeccable at best.  It coincides with Ree’s upcoming New York City book promo and  all-out media blitz on the morning shows, the 92nd Street Y, including this Saturday’s Hearts of Gold Gala in Tahlequah.

 

 

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Amanda Fortini Strips Away The Pioneer Woman’s Veneer

It only took nine months, but it appears Amanda Fortini, author of The New Yorker’s  ambiguous Pioneer Woman exposé*, has belatedly acknowledged what Drummond’s critics have known for years…Ree’s wily. Why the Harvard-educated writer was last to the “little ol’ ranch wife” party is fodder for a future post. Arguably it’s more about the narcissistic faux Pioneer Woman taking advantage of Fortini’s naiveté, playing off her youth and inexperience ostensibly to garner a favorable story.

Last week, Fortini returned to The New Yorker, this time its blog, and revealed after viewing Food Network’s Pioneer Woman show, that her light bulb had finally been switched to the on position. In stark contrast to her admittedly misguided first impression, Fortini who has the undeniable advantage of knowing both Pioneer Woman personas, the one Ree wants people to see and Rachel Purnell’s Food Network vision, summed it all up very nicely… as fake. Yes it seems, Amanda got the memo this time around.

In her post, Fortini reasons that Pioneer Woman’s uneasiness within the medium of television stems from Ree Drummond’s underlying deceit about her less than pastoral lifestyle. With the pressure of lights, camera and profits, the real Pioneer Woman is unveiled and as it turns out, she’s not a particularly compelling woman. In fact, the real little ol’ ranch wife of Pawhuska is quite ordinary, if not boring. Her on-camera personality is non-existent and her cooking skills are dubious at best. Sadly, she’s set back this country’s women’s movement at least a hundred years with her cloying adulation for her husband and the resident “men folk.”

Fortini notes too viewers’ incredulity. From the comfort of their living rooms, Food Network’s fans are allowed a peak into the Pioneer Woman’s less-than pioneering lifestyle, one replete with commercial grade kitchen appliances housed in a multi-million dollar custom-built television studio. Armed with not one, but two professional cameras, Ree lollygags about the prairie in a $50K Ford Expedition snapping photos of staged ranch scenes. According to Fortini, many are starting to question Ree’s schtick, but some stalwarts remain. Whoever believes Drummond’s an actual pioneer woman keepin’ it real needs a serious reality check.

Fortini’s analysis states a litany of reasons why the show has fallen on its face notably Pioneer Woman’s palpable discomfort in her own skin when she’s “recites” the very script she, as a consulting producer, authored. Yet for all the headway she makes, at one point Fortini falls back with a polite slap on Ree’s plagiarizing wrist, referring to the Pioneer Woman’s recipes as “derivative.”  Uh, no, they’re lifted and sources are not credited.

Perhaps the real lesson in all this is for Amanda herself. Remaining objective and fact-checking both sides of a story instead of discounting critics as “poisonous and obsessive”  should be her mantra moving forward. The Pie Near Woman, Pioneer Woman Sux and this blog have been exposing Ree’s internet hoax for years. Fair warning Amanda, press releases are paid advertisements designed to showcase clients in the best possible light, hardly lone sources for articles destined for publication. Bartlesville, Oklahoma isn’t affluent any more than Ree Drummond is a Pioneer Woman.

* O Pioneer Woman, The New Yorker

 

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The Pioneer Woman’s Filched Brownies

What have I been doing with my life all this time? Saturday’s installment of Food Network’s Pioneer Woman featured ground-breaking menu innovation. Imagine if you will eating hot wings served with blue cheese dressing and celery sticks…all while watching a football game. Such a genius that Ree Drummond, I mean really, who knew the faux little ol’ ranch wife was capable of such awesomeness.

The inventive Pioneer Woman didn’t stop there though. Next, she whipped up Pico de Gallo, combined it with avocados and called it guacamole. But what sent this dish over the top was the addition of chips. Yes, you heard me right, Ree served it with C H I P S.  If the Pioneer Woman’s trying to establish her culinary legacy,  this kind of thinking outside the box all but guarantees it.

But what’s had the food world buzzing ever since was Ree’s refreshingly creative, over-the-top dessert. Together with her partner in crime, Duncan Hines cake mix, the Pioneer Woman knocked out a batch of sinfully decadent brownies. That’s right, B R O W N I E S!

Sadly, the real magic behind this cutting-edge dessert was never actually disclosed. The specious Pioneer Woman closet plagiarist apparently lifted the recipe straight out of Bartlesville, Oklahoma’s Taste of the Territory, modified a few ingredients, renamed it Knock You Naked Brownies and failed to credit her hometown’s Service League.  Hardee, har, har, har… you’re busted Ree.

Cover of Taste of the Territory

Service League of Bartlesville's Brownie Recipe

 

 

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The Pioneer Woman Swipes a Chili Recipe

The Pioneer Woman plagiarizes Wick Fowler

Really Pioneer Woman? Too busy to hide your blatant plagiarism? Looks like the faux little ol’ ranch wife is up to her old tricks again.

Last Saturday, Food Network aired the appropriately named “All Stocked Up” episode of the Pioneer Woman show. Yes indeedy, Ree was stocked up all right, apparently full of Wick Fowler’s 2-Alarm Chili Kits. For those unfamiliar with this convenience product, the kit includes seven measured packets of chili seasonings. Add two pounds of ground beef, canned tomato sauce and water, simmer for an hour or so and voila, you have chili. The Pioneer Woman even declared, “it’s a total cinch to make.” Yeah, especially when you use Wick Fowler’s award-winning chili recipe conveniently printed on the box.

As Ree Drummond demonstrated acutely advanced techniques involved in pouring seasonings and tomato sauce on top of ground beef, it became appallingly clear the script had been ripped straight from Wick Fowler’s 2-Alarm Chili Kit.  The Pioneer Woman carefully avoided copying Wick Fowler’s recipe word for word by deleting the paprika how big of her, undoubtedly when she discovered the ingredient missing from her “well-stocked pantry.”  But there was no question in anyone’s mind that the inspiration for what she coined as Simple Perfect Chili had been lifted from a ubiquitous chili kit readily available across America.

Are the Pioneer Woman and her team operating with a full deck or do they naively believe people are too stupid to catch on to Ree’s subterfuge? Or are they simply turning a blind eye and riding this trainwreck for as long as they can bleed it for profit?  With Drummond’s retro, artery clogging fare becoming the stuff of long-running jokes, more and more people are having “a ha” moments questioning the sources of what she claims to be her own creations.

Drummond may have pulled a fast one on the editors at HarperCollins and Elisa Page at BlogHer, but at what cost?  Her recipes are not original, rather concoctions she ransacked from community cookbooks, boxes of convenience foods and food court establishments.  All the Pioneer Woman did was tweak a few ingredients, re-write the directions and post them on her website.  For this feat, she fraudulently induced companies to buy advertising on her blog.

The Pioneer Woman may be an amateur cook, but she’s a proven expert when it comes to lifting other’s ideas.  As she said on Saturday, “it’s a total cinch.”

 

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The Pioneer Woman – Paula Deen’s Heir Apparent

This week the food world experienced its own Costa Concordia tragedy when its celebrated Butter Queen crashed on the reef of hubris. Couched as the world’s worst kept secret, Paula Deen confirmed her diabetes diagnosis surprising no one least of which her heir apparent, The Pioneer Woman. What grounded Paula’s protégé wasn’t the revelation that consuming large quantities of fat, salt and sugar has a negative health impact but the potential for damage to her own similarly situated media empire.

Much like a modern day Eve Harrington, the overtly ambitious Ree Drummond set her sights firmly on Paula Deen’s realm about the same time she misled her readers concerning a remodeling project later revealed to be a full-fledged television studio. As the calculating Pioneer Woman carefully appropriated Paula’s life-long work into her own business plan, Ree molded the Pioneer Woman expanse around the premise that 1950’s quick fixin’s utilizing processed foods would make a come back and turn a profit for her. Just like Paula in fact. Even though the calendar read 21st century, Ree went full steam ahead bucking the health conscious sustainable food trends and paving the way for her retro, artery clogging cuisine. Bad move? Perhaps.

With diabetes approaching epidemic levels, The Pioneer Woman’s ride on Paula Deen’s coattails may be coming to an abrupt halt. As the news of Paula’s condition continues to play out on the web and various media outlets, the Pioneer Woman may be forced back to the drawing board to reevaluate her business model. Ree’s target audience and major source of site traffic includes hard-working, low-income Americans all too eager for hastily prepared, cheap comfort food. But can she bank on this demographic for the long-term?  How long will these people lap up food that could be sending them to an early grave?

Now that Paula’s stock has nosedived,  look for the Pioneer Woman to distance herself, a la Mrs. G, from the very woman who so graciously helped get her where she is.  Since Paula’s announcement earlier this week, the Pioneer Woman hasn’t deigned to mention her colleague, publicly at least. On the day Paula appeared on NBC’s Today Show, the Pioneer Woman tweeted the following:

thepioneerwoman Ree Drummond

“What’s the name of the condition that causes human beings to recoil and wig out at the sight of a tiny mouse? I’m afflicted.”

16 Jan Favorite Retweet Reply

Watch out Ree, tiny mice grow into big rats.

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The Pioneer Woman Christmas Special

The good news, the Pioneer Woman Christmas Special only lasted half an hour. The bad news, it aired.

And it erred epically as well. On its face, the special was billed as a frontier holiday give me a break with Food Network promising a menu laden with “prime rib” and assorted accompaniments. As it turns out it was nothing more than rehashed recipes from Ree’s so- yesterday blog. If you’re fond of throwing away money, look for most of them to show up in her 2012 “kookbook.”

We can thank Pacific UK Productions for editing out most, but not all, of Drummond’s hokey jokes and mannerisms. They could have deleted wisecracks the dolt made while preparing brussel sprouts, pulverizing peppercorns and wrestling fudge from Ladd. Ree’s annoying one-liners have failed period, end of story. Move on Food Network.

The episode began with Ree’s so so cinnamon rolls. Thankfully missing was the time-consuming step of rolling out a sticky, wet mass of dough, the result of a recipe calling for nine cups of flour, a quart of milk and large quantities of oil.  Instead viewers were presented with a perfectly pre-rolled yeasty oval awaiting final adornment.

As the camera zoomed in, the purring Ree took her throbbing bare hands and got up close and personal with her favorite ingredient, melted butter.  Slow and smooth, the little ol’ ranch whore worked the dough, massaging all the buttery goodness with her hands…sans gloves. Pastry brush much honey?

Up to this point, things had been predictably boring. But in what proved to be the show’s over the top moment, the smarmy Ree prepared a salt-crusted beef roast using a recipe  ostensibly lifted from her bff, Pam Anderson. As things quickly went downhill, Ree referred to the honking slab of beef as “prime rib,” once again failing to credit her audience with any gray matter. Prime of course being the term used by the USDA when labeling beef and typically found on hotel and restaurant menus.  Given the fact the Pioneer Woman’s boneless rib eye lacked…uhmm bones, a more accurate representation would have been roast beef.

Granted, it would have been quite a stretch for a 92nd Street Y wannabe and sassy pretender from affluent Bartlesville ROTFLMAO to refer to dinner’s main course as simply plain old roast beef.  In Ree’s social-climbing mind, that’s analagous to heresy.

What she did next with that poor piece of beef was unforgivable. Following a brief searing, she shoved it in the refrigerator to chill while she accompanied the film crew to cop holiday footage from Pawhuska’s Parade of Lights.  Not that it matters to The Pioneer woman, but any cook worth their salt crust knows a piece of beef this large should reach room temperature prior to roasting.

And what would this tedious production have been without filler shots of the dog, kids, income-producing wild mustangs and extended family?  For those wagering bets on the episode’s winner of The Pioneer Woman’s tired and overused “there’s nothing like them in the world,”  the button mushrooms simmered in a vat of wine for 9 hours came away with the honors. Yet, another decades-old crock pot recipe straight from the internet.

Serious cooks looking for new holiday ideas and recipes would be well-advised to skip The Pioneer Woman’s holiday offering.  Unless of course you long to see a shameless woman groveling for acceptance by the food world.

And finally courtesy of Ladd Drummond, “Murry Krissmiss y’all.”  Please Santa, can you cancel this nonsense?

 

 

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The Pioneer Woman Screwges Pawhuska

Ten days after stealing the spotlight while dragging a Food Network film crew thru Pawhuska’s Holiday Parade of Lights, the faux Pioneer Woman deigns to mention the town on her blog. How well-timed for Ree Drummond now that Pacific UK Productions has edited the hecklers from their footage.

Posting one lone photo, no doubt the only one not containing images of torch-bearing locals chasing down a culinary Frankenstein, Ree waxes poetic about Pawhuska using a run-on sentence. Mercy laugh please…Ree thinks it’s funny.

Noticeably absent is any reference to the local grocers who in Ree’s estimation don’t rise to the level of Tulsa’s Whole Foods. On the one hand, Pioneer Woman embraces the charm of a small town Christmas. With the other, she forwards a check to her well-compensated publicists, guaranteeing she’ll spend the least amount of time possible in Pawhuska, Oklahoma.

 

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Pioneer Woman Dupes The 92nd Street Y

Grab a hat, ‘cause it’s going to rain Pioneer Woman by the shitloads come the first of the year.  Between now and its March 2012 release, HarperCollins plans to shove down our collective throats the second installment of the little ol’ ranch wife’s culinary propaganda. This is but one of many scheduled promos for Ree’s upcoming food court treatise.

Long recognized as one of Manhattan’s haughty cultural institutions, the 92nd Street Y has boasted guest speakers the likes of Bill Clinton and Steve Martin. We can only wonder who Ree slept with or rather bought off to snag an invite to New York City’s revered lecture series.  Apparently those expensive hotel suites and brown-nosing BlogHer’s Elisa Page finally paid off for the media whore.

What topics the narcissistic Ree will address is anyone’s guess.  Will she discuss how to lift other’s recipes and publish them as your own or will she reveal how to censor blog comments to maintain the all-important Ozzie and Harriet illusion? Maybe she’ll reveal how she tweets at cruising altitude without getting caught.

The 92nd St. Y also houses the city’s most exclusive nursery school, one boasting a waiting list that could circumnavigate planet Earth.  In spite of its distinguished reputation educating the progeny of NYC’s elite, this Y has not been above scandal.

Showcasing a social-climbing fraud like Ree Drummond should be right up their alley. Tickets for this fiasco start at $29.

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