We noticed the fake little ol’ ranch wife is posting about fall—although it’s 106 in the shade–so we thought it an appropriate time to present Ree with a short football tutorial. Earlier this year and again this afternoon, Food Network aired a Pioneer Woman episode called The B-Man, a show Ree dedicated to her older son, Bryceeeee. The Antichef made all his favorite foods, they thumb danced and in a half hour, viewers witnessed one of the most beloved mother-son relationships in the history of mankind.
Yet for all the cherishing, all the smiles and laughter, we weren’t quite convinced, in fact, we weren’t feeling the love at all. For us at least, it was more like listening to someone reading a script and as it turns out, that’s exactly what it was. In a performance for the ages, Ree launched into a soliloquy, an ode of sorts to Bryceee, his warm personality, his generous spirit and his love of football. The breathless, squeaky-voiced Pioneer Woman described how Bryceeee played defensive back for the local Pawhuska football team, a team coached by her husband Ladd.
We decided to take a closer look at the scenes of Bryceee playing football, you know the ones we always look forward to in cooking shows. After multiple replays, we never saw Bryceeee playing defensive back, not once. Nope, he was actually playing offense, taking the snap and handing it off to a running back. Not only that, he was wearing a football jersey with the number 17. Hmmm, that makes Bryceee the quarterback, not a defensive back. It also presents a teensy, weensy conundrum for the doting mom ruse and all but blows a hole in Ree’s wild claims of mother-son bonding.
You see, here’s the thing: in football, defensive backs don’t take the snap and they sure as hell don’t wear number 17 jerseys. Typically, uniform numbers between 1 and 19 are reserved for quarterbacks, punters and place kickers. Defensive backs, on the other hand, usually wear numbers between 20 and 49. Furthermore, when Daddy’s the team coach, his son ain’t playing defensive back.
Ree’s tribute to her son as it turns out, was another contrivance, a theme for her cheesy show, one designed to play on the heartstrings of the masses, people who won’t know the difference. Shame on the fake Pioneer Woman on many levels, but not knowing what position her son plays on the football team, that’s unforgivable.
nancyg says: August 21, 2014 at 8:50 pm
Oh hell MW, come on, the servants probably have to remind the Moose who her children are, how old they are and what they look like!
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